Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Real Programmers

That day google something quite interesting and would like to share with friends.
Enjoy~~
  • Real Programmers aren't afraid to use GOTOs.

  • Real Programmers can write five page long DO loops without getting confused.

  • Real Programmers like Arithmetic IF statements-- they make the code more interesting.

  • Real Programmers write self-modifying code, especially if they can save 20 nanoseconds in the middle of a tight loop.

  • Real Programmers don't need comments-- the code is obvious.

  • Since Fortran doesn't have a structured IF, REPEAT ... UNTIL, or CASE statement, Real Programmers don't have to worry about not using them. Besides, they can be simulated when necessary using assigned GOTOs.

  • At a party, the Real Programmers are the ones in the corner talking about operating system security and how to get around it.

  • At a football game, the Real Programmer is the one comparing the plays against his simulations printed on 11 by 14 fanfold paper.

  • At the beach, the Real Programmer is the one drawing flowcharts in the sand.

  • At a funeral, the Real Programmer is the one saying "Poor George. And he almost had the sort routine working before the coronary."

  • In a grocery store, the Real Programmer is the one who insists on running the cans past the laser checkout scanner himself, because he never could trust keypunch operators to get it right the first time.

  • No Real Programmer works 9 to 5. (Unless it's the ones at night.)

  • Real Programmers don't wear neckties.

  • Real Programmers don't wear high heeled shoes.

  • Real Programmers arrive at work in time for lunch.

  • A Real Programmer might or might not know his wife's name. He does, however, know the entire ASCII (or EBCDIC) code table.

  • Real Programmers don't know how to cook. Grocery stores aren't open at three in the morning. Real Programmers survive on Twinkies and coffee.
Last but not least,
  • Real Programmers write programs, NOT documentation. Leave that to the maintenence people.

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